Me. At least after what I've been through.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
