You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
