Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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