that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
