We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
