I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
