So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
