Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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