There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
