Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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