I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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