So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
