he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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