THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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