Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
