ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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