She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
