Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I DEMAND FORESKIN
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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