If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
