i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
