im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Semen is not good for contacts.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
