I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
