He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
