Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
