Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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