Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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