If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
