Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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