Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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