never play flip cup with pint glasses
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
