dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
