I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
