He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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