I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she looked like the before picture.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think my moral compass just broke
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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