Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
