I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
is that a dick in a sweater?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
