Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
