I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I love you. Go after that dick
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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