Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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