Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that

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(919): View more from North Carolina

um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.

(919): View more from North Carolina

my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Pooping to opera.

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