We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
