I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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