Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
