Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
