I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
