i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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