hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
