oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize