I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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