Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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