I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
